The Parents Television Council Hates The English

Mirren’s Emmy Crack Draws FCC Complaint

The Parents Television Council called on federal regulators Thursday to fine NBC for “vulgar and obscene” comments by two actresses during Sunday’s broadcast of the Primetime Emmy Awards.

Walking up to the stage to accept a best actress Emmy for HBO’s “Elizabeth I,” Helen Mirren commented on her relief that she didn’t go “ass over tit” as she came up the stairs. A few minutes later, Calista Flockhart repeated the phrase before presenting another award.

…

“It is utterly irresponsible and atrocious for NBC to air this vulgar language — when millions of children were in the viewing audience,” Parents Television Council President L. Brent Bozell said in a written statement.

Reminding the PTC the only reason words like “tit” and “ass” are “indecent” is because they keep telling us words like “tit” and “ass” are indecent is pointless, so I’ll focus on what’s truly indecent: Why are children watching the Emmys at all?

There’s absolutely no value in watching the Emmys. They are cotton candy. Complaining about finding a hard piece of unspun sugar (a “tit”, if you will) in the middle of the sweet goodness is untenable; why eat it in the first place?

The only justifiable interest for watching the Emmys is the prurience of pure entertainment, the very interest the PTC claims to ever-so-vigilantly fights against. Shame on them.

PETA Thinks You're An Idiot

Ad blather has images of new PETA ads:

I’m not quite sure what to make of this ad, other than cows somehow replenish themselves via asexual reproduction, in which case we should:

1. be fine, because clearly one cow turns into four cows and many, many other materials.

2. panic, because soon the cows will outnumber us and blow us up with TNT.

3. look suspiciously at our shirt buttons, as we had no idea they were cow-based.

Of course, being PETA, they manage to balance the crazy with abject assholery:

Over 50 million cows are slaughtered every year to feed your greed for burgers, bags and lipsticks. So who’s to blame if the cow goes extinct soon: the butcher or you?

Have they driven around lately? There’s no shortage of cows. I see them like everyday. And even if all the cows died, GOOD. Fuck cows.

If Jesus had the same self-righteousness PETA has, his message would’ve been more like this:

I have to die, because you’re all a bunch of assholes. When I die, who’s to blame: YOU, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.

And instead of this reading nonsense like this we’d all be busy controlling Hollywood.

I don't necessarily buy all this new age crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan and do you know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.