Give me a Tab.

"Tab? I can't give you a tab unless you order something."

Via kottke.

Google, Search Thyself

Regarding the Bush administration's attempts to access Google's search logs, I'm proud of Google for refusing to turn over the information, but there's a greater issue, and Slate's Tim Wu nails it:

Recent events suggest that relying on the present administration to protect such basic freedoms may be, shall we say, unpromising. Other governments are just as bad if not worse. That's why the public's demand must be of Google—not the state. It should be that Google please stop keeping quite so much information attached to our IP addresses; please modify logging practices so that all identifying information is stripped. And please run history's greatest "search and delete," right now, and take out the IP addresses from every file that contains everyone's last five years of searches.

As much as I respect Google's good intentions, I don't trust anyone else. Unless there's a specific court order for information, don't collect it. There's got to be a way to fine-focus the search (for services as outlined by Robert Cringely) without compromising the end-user's privacy.

Because seriously, I don't want anyone knowing two things: (1) How often I misspell words and Google tells me "Did you mean...?" and (2) About my insatiable appetite for images of shaved kitties.

Thing That Doesn't Exist Said Not To Exist

But something else that didn't previously exist may now exist:

Gravity theory dispenses with dark matter

A modified theory of gravity that incorporates quantum effects can explain a trio of puzzling astronomical observations – including the wayward motion of the Pioneer spacecraft in our solar system, new studies claim.

...

In this case, a hypothetical particle called a graviton – which mediates gravity – appears in large numbers out of the vacuum of space in regions crowded with massive objects such as stars. "It's as if gravity is stronger" near the centres of galaxies, Brownstein told New Scientist. "Then, at a certain distance, the stars become sparse, and the gravitons don't contribute that much." So at larger distances, gravity returns to the behaviour described by Newton.

Dear Science:

Stop making things up. Fly out there on a rocket and figure it out yourselves.

Sincerely,
Scott.

Two Screens, Many Colors

A post detailing the many Nintendo DS varients on the British Gaming Blog.

I have an Electric Blue model, but we all know I really want one of the sparkly glittered ones.

Scrubbed

This may be from 2003, but it's never too late to bitch about the Parents Television Council bitching about something. In this instance, it's an episode of Scrubs:

JD’s friend Elliott is being courted to join the gynecological team at the hospital. JD sees the attractive team of gynecologists walking down the hall and daydreams about the four of them having a pillow fight while wearing sexy negligees. They stop fighting and are about to kiss when his daydream is interrupted. His fantasy concludes with one girl saying, “I’m glad we all finally experimented on each other, but I’ll never do it again,” implying that they just had lesbian group sex.

Later, she complains to Carla about the pressure being put on her to specialize in Obstetrics and gynecology. “Those gyno girls are putting a lot of pressure on me. We must have looked at a hundred women’s bajingos today. Bajingo, bajingo, bajingo. I can’t even look at my own bajingo.” Carla retorts, “Is that because it looks so much like a vagina?”

This inappropriate material was incidental to the main plot of the episode, which dealt with Dr. Cox being forced to choose between his sexy, if somewhat promiscuous girlfriend Julie (played by guest star Heather Locklear), and his pregnant and somewhat promiscuous ex-wife, Jordan.

...

This kind of “comedy” is more repulsive and sad than anything. The thought that a man is choosing between a relationship with a woman who slept with all his colleagues and an ex-wife he believes to be carrying another man’s child, is depressing. The sleaziness of the girlfriend offering a threesome with the pregnant ex isn’t funny, it is embarrassing.

Oh yeah? Well what I find sleazy is the ignoring of that fact that he chooses his pregnant ex-wife in the end. Isn't that a good thing? He's willing to forgive the prodigal wife, pregnant with what turns out to his kid?

The best thing about this article is it's full of great quotes. I couldn't have found the proper spelling of "bajingo" without it. Be assured, "bajingo" is now safety tucked away in my computer's spell-checker for future need.

The PTC's slogan plastered across the top of their page is "because our children are watching". WELL WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING THEM. Stop complaining about shows you don't like, and go make your own if you're so dissatisfied with everything's that on TV. Oh, that's right, nobody watches PAX-TV.

Fresh Network

UPN & The WB collapsing into one:

CBS Corporation and Warner Bros. Entertainment today announced their intent to form a new 5th network, The CW, to be launched in the fall of 2006. The new broadcasting network will be a joint venture between Warner Bros. Entertainment and CBS Corporation, with each company owning 50%. In an important strategic move that secures major market distribution for The CW, it was announced that Tribune Broadcasting and the CBS Corporation's UPN affiliates have agreed separately to sign 10-year affiliation agreements with the new network.

Not quite sure what happens in markets with both a WB and UPN affliate, like Philadelphia, but this is a smart move. Between the two of them, there's almost a full week of programming.

Via Atrios, who said (and I concur fully): "Bastards had better not cancel Veronica Mars."

UPDATE: WPHL 17 (WB) going independent; WPSG 57 (UPN) new home of the CW.

Worst Day Ever?

Apparently, it's officially the worst day of the year:

First, there is Jan. 24's distance from Christmas: way too far to look forward to, but way too recent to have recovered from financially. The misery of debt figures heavily in his equation.

So does weather. While the meteorologists are predicting a bright, warmish day today, you don't hear them saying, "Dig out the bikini - it'll be sunny with a high of 86!" No, January weather - even the amazingly good weather we had a few days ago - is still amazingly bad weather compared with pretty much all of spring, summer and fall.

I'll agree. I slept weird last night, and woke up later than I should've, but earlier than I needed to, leaving me with a weird, slightly out-of-phase with the world feeling for the rest of the day.

Bitch Of The Day: The Fourth Amendment

Bill Of Rights, December 15, 1791:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

General Michael Hayden, principal deputy director of National Intelligence with the Office of National Intelligence, today:

Just to be very clear -- and believe me, if there's any amendment to the Constitution that employees of the National Security Agency are familiar with, it's the Fourth. And it is a reasonableness standard in the Fourth Amendment. And so what you've raised to me -- and I'm not a lawyer, and don't want to become one -- what you've raised to me is, in terms of quoting the Fourth Amendment, is an issue of the Constitution. The constitutional standard is "reasonable." And we believe -- I am convinced that we are lawful because what it is we're doing is reasonable.

More.

Cooler Than Meets The Eye

Read this, "Pretending To Be a Cool Guy For One Day", by Scott Taylor. It's funny.

Excerpt:

I drove to the library, where I had previously arranged to pick up several books about the assassination of William McKinley. The woman at the counter was elderly and reminded me of my ex wife, Dorothy, although this woman had a slightly more impressive Adam’s apple. I approached her as Stanley might approach Dorothy, greeting her with a large hug. She resisted my advances and informed me that only employees of that particular library branch were allowed behind the counter, which sounded racist to me.

I asked for the books in question. I presented my library card and she reluctantly brought me the books. Upon receiving them I called the woman a cracker Autobot. I then begged her to take me back as I ran into the street. I attempted to turn into a jet and fly to Cybertron but fell to the pavement and scraped my knees while some of the books fell into the street.

With His Hands And His Feet

While slightly behind the curve, at least SNL's on the curve at all with this Digital Short, Young Chuck Norris.

And for kicks:

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Back To Where It Lasted

Possible hypothetical list of games available through the Nintendo Revolution's download service:

Continue reading "Back To Where It Lasted" »

Bitch Of The Day: Martha Ann Alito

Wife of Supreme Court Nominee Leaves, Weeps Amid Tough Questioning

After probing for possible weak spots in the record of Supreme Court nominee Samuel Alito on Day Two of his confirmation hearings, Democrats used Day Three to poke at what they thought those weak spots were.

But at the end of the day, the Democrats' plan of attack proved to be too much — at least for one member of the audience.

The nominee's wife, Martha Ann Alito, broke into tears after Republicans expressed their disapproval of how Alito was being treated.

...

One White House official later said that Mrs. Alito viewed the attacks on her husband as disgraceful. "She was very upset that a good and decent man would get attacked," the official told ABC News. "It's outrageous."

Well, tough. When you're husband's up for the Supreme Court, it's not going to be pretty. What'd you expect? Ted Kennedy to bend over and shoot laurels out of his ass in honor of being good and decent?

And an honorary bitch goes out to the media, for treating this like Patrick Leahy jumped up and kicked her in the face.

Self Scouting For Boys

From last year's BBC's 100 things we didn't know this time last year:

98. Lord Baden Powell wanted a section on the dangers of "self abuse" in his Scouting for Boys. His original manuscript read: "A very large number of the lunatics in our asylums have made themselves ill by indulging in this vice although at one time they were sensible cheery boys like you."

Via kottke.

So Help Me God

If the ABC announcers don't shut up about A.J.'s girlfriend being Brady's sister, I'm going to kill three people.

Possibly even YOU.

I don't necessarily buy all this new age crap. One time I saw my mom knock my father unconscious with a frying pan and do you know what I did? I kept right on going with my birthday party.